


I Think I'm Missing Something...

by stars28



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Stealing, Thief, who's the thief?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:58:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2126061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars28/pseuds/stars28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are going missing. To start with, they thought it was Nori but it wasn't. So who is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I'm Missing Something...

"Hey guys, has anyone seen my quill?" Ori asked the Company with a frown as he shuffled through his pack. They were eating dinner and Ori wanted to catch up some of his writing up of the journey while he still had the chance to do so.

He got a variety of negative answers from everyone - from Bilbo's quiet 'no', to Dwalin's outspoken 'as if I'd ever touch your stuff Ori!' The response was rather disappointing. Oh well, there wasn't anything Ori he could do about it. He Ori sat down next to Bombur, who was looking longingly at the pot of bubbling stew that Bofur was tending to, and settled down to another 'fun-filled' evening.

* * *

_Nori watched as his apprentice snuck silently up to Ori and carefully, oh so carefully, but yet quickly slid the quill out of the younger dwarf's bag. His apprentice slowed his pony down until he was side-by-side with Nori._

_"Well?" He said._

_"You did good," Nori replied, taking Ori's quill from him and stowing it in his own pack, "For a newbie."_

_"You have only just started to teach me, give me some credit." The dwarf cried._

_Nori looked at his apprentice sharply, "I'll give you credit when you've earned it."_

_His apprentice looked down at the mane of his horse and sighed, "Fine."_

* * *

"Where is it?!" Bilbo muttered to himself as he searched through his pack yet again. His pipe had gone missing since last night. He was sure that he'd put it in the front pocket of his pack, but it wasn't there!

"What are you looking for Bilbo?" Kili said, walking over to the hobbit with a look of curiosity.

"My pipe," Bilbo replied, frustrated with himself, "I had it last night, but I can't find it now."

"Huh. That's weird." The archer said, frowning, "Are you sure you had it last night?"

"Yes." The hobbit huffed in annoyance, looking around him as though it may crop up on the ground around him.

"Well, never mind, lunch is almost ready, that's what I came over for originally," Kili pulled Bilbo up off the grass with a grunt, "So you can borrow mine for now."

A smile spread over the hobbit's face, his eyes lighting up, "Really?"

"Sure you can," Kili said, tugging Bilbo's arm, "Now come one, let's go and get some food before Bombur eats it all."

Bilbo laughed and allowed the dark-haired dwarf to drag him across to where all the other dwarves were gathered around the fire, no doubt eating all the food before they could get there.

* * *

_Nori chuckled quietly as his apprentice successfully pickpocketed Bilbo for his pipe. He then dropped back to where Nori was._

_"How'd I do?" He asked eagerly, looking at Nori._

_"Good, it was smoother this time." Nori said, taking the pipe off his apprentice._

_His apprentice smiled proudly._

* * *

**"Where is my toy?"**  Bifur said in Khuzdul to Bofur, who scratched his head under his hat. He'd looked with his brother for his toy that he was making for over an hour, but their combined efforts didn't yield any results.

**"Maybe you left it at the last camp?"**  Bofur suggested.

Bifur shook his head,  **"No, I would never do that."**

 **"That is true..."**  Bofur sighed,  **"Bifur, I don't know what to suggest. Make a new one?"**

**"Put a lot of time into it, I want that one."**

Bofur sighed again, he thought that would be the case.

"What's wrong with Bifur?" Fili said.

"He's lost his toy that he was working on."

"That's not good," Fili frowned, "Have you checked his pack?"

**"Yes. I'm not stupid."**

**"No, you're not."**  Bofur said, and then switched to Westron to speak to Fili, "We have, and it's not there."

"Well, I hope that it'll turn up Bifur."

 **"Thank you Fili,"**  Bifur smiled,  **"I hope it does too."**

Fili grinned at Bifur and Bofur, he'd heard his name and the 'thank you'. That much he knew in Khuzdul off the top of his head.

* * *

_He was proud of his apprentice, he'd done well today. He had successfully gained Bifur's toy that he'd been working on. Granted it was from Bifur, but nonetheless Nori's apprentice was learning quickly, there was no doubt about that._

_"Thanks Nori."_

_Nori nodded at his apprentice._

* * *

Balin was not the type to loose things – honestly it was more likely to be his brother who misplaced things - but he could not find his pipe. He hadn't found it yesterday, when he'd first lost it, and it was irritating him as he wanted to use it.

"Lost something brother?" Dwalin said, smirking.

"Yes, my pipe, I lost it yesterday, and I can't find it."

"Haha... You've finally lost something! So it's not always me!" Dwalin gloated, sharping his axe.

"Shut up Dwalin!" Balin muttered, re-packing his bag.

His brother just continued laughing.

* * *

_"So you managed Balin huh?" Nori said, smiling at his apprentice._

_"Yeah, wasn't that hard," His apprentice replied quietly, "All I had to do was distract him by talking about a random past king. I purposefully got the facts wrong so, naturally, Balin had to correct me. While he did that I slipped my hand into his pack and poof! Balin's pipe was mine."_

_"Though you've now given it to me, of course." Nori said._

_"Yeah."_

* * *

Dori was a tidy dwarf, he had to be otherwise things would get lost and then both Nori and Ori would inevitably ask where their things had gone. That was his mantra; if you kept tidy, then you wouldn't lose things. It was why his tea shop back home was spick and span, everything was in its place and everything had a place. And he kept to that mantra, even if they were on a suicidal quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain, and the world seemed to be on its own quest to get rid of the rag-tag company of Thorin Oakenshield. Why he'd been dragged along was honestly beyond his understanding, though he had a feeling it was to do with family loyalty, and how he joined after Nori was given a choice between joining the Company or a long sentence in jail.

So to now find that one of his hair clasps had gone missing was annoying to say the very least.

"Nori!" Dori called.

His younger brother sauntered over casually from where he'd been regaling the Durin princes with tales of his escapes. They were laughing, holding their stomachs. Dori wondered what story he'd been telling them.

"Yes dear brother?"

"Have you taken one of my hair clasps?" Dori asked, looking at Nori's face carefully as he replied.

"No, I haven't. Why have you lost one?"

Dori sighed, "Yes I have, and it's my favourite."

He was relatively certain that Nori was telling the truth. For once.

* * *

_"I'll have to lie to Dori about this you know." Nori said, as his apprentice gave him the hair clasp._

_"Like that's a change!" His apprentice smirked, taking the reins of his pony again, "Even I know that's no different to normal!"_

_"While you may be right, it doesn't stop him from trying to guess whether I'm telling the truth or not."_

* * *

Bofur thought that after a long days ride he could do with a smoke. He put his hand in his pocket, searching for his pipe but he came up empty. Huh. He could've sworn it was in there, but maybe it was in his pack.

After twenty minutes of looking, Bofur gave up. It wasn't there, which was a shame, because now he really wanted a smoke. He sighed, frowning.

"Lost something Bofur?" Bilbo said, smoking using Kili's pipe. He thought it was very kind of the youngest Prince to lend it to him.

"Yes, my pipe." Bofur replied, looking at their hobbit and feeling slightly jealous of his pipe.

"Huh," Bilbo blew a smoke ring easily, "I lost mine earlier this week. Weird."

"Yeah."

* * *

_Nori's apprentice was doing splendidly, even if he did almost get caught getting Bofur's pipe out of his pocket, but that kind of thing would happen less as he got better. Nori smiled at his apprentice, who grinned back from across the fire._

* * *

Oin grumbled to himself as he walked towards Kili, carrying his leather medicine kit. Of course, the youngest Durin would manage to injure himself while hunting for food. While Oin was glad of the archer for getting their food - Mahal knows he's not up to doing that job - he wasn't pleased with the way he'd managed to hurt himself before the Company got anywhere near Erebor. It meant that Oin would have to bandage him up.

"What've you done?" He asked, his knees creaking as he kneeled down next to Kili.

"I've cut myself." Kili said loudly so Oin could hear him, rolling his right sleeve up.

Oin looked critically at the cut that appeared to be about four and a half inches long. It seemed shallow, but nonetheless he wanted to get some herbs on it and covered. It was never a good idea to leave a cut uncovered, especially when out in the woods.

"Can someone get me some water?" Oin said, looking up at the surrounding dwarves and hobbit, who were staring curiously.

Fili nodded and darted off to the fire, where he grabbed a water canteen - he didn't know whose it was, but figured that they wouldn't mind - and came back. He handed it Oin, who smiled.

The first thing Oin did was wash the wound with water, and then he delved in his medicine kit for the herbs that needed to be put on the cut to stop it from getting infected. His hand came up empty and he frowned. He needed the herbs, so he looked again. Five minutes of searching later and he had to admit that they weren't there, so he skipped to the next phrase. Carefully, Oin wrapped bandages around Kili's arm.

"There you go." He said, patting Kili's unwounded arm gently.

"Thanks." The youngest Durin prince said, getting up and walking with his brother to the fire, as everyone else followed.

Oin was still confused, and a little bit concerned, as to where his herbs had gone. He couldn't have lost them; they were an important part of the reason why he was on the quest.

* * *

_"That was too easy Nori." The apprentice said, kicking a stone near his feet._

_"It was from Oin, of course it was easy," Nori said, glancing at him, "But, I have to admit, you are getting better."_

_"I am?"_

_"Sure you are - quicker, smoother and better at distracting your target." He smiled as his apprentice slipped away to sit with everyone else._

* * *

"Ok, ok," Thorin said, over the loud talking of his Company, "Shut up!"

The dwarves stopped talking and looked at Thorin. He sighed, he really didn't want to broach this topic, but as Oin had quite rightly pointed out, they were becoming a team, not just a rag-tag group of dwarves and a hobbit, and as such, it was important to face these kind of things head on.

"Who here had lost something since we started the journey?" He asked the group at large.

"My quill!" Ori piped up.

"My pipe." Bilbo said, sounding disheartened.

"And mine." Bofur said.

 **"My toy!"**  Bifur said in Khuzdul, making gestures in Iglishmêk.

"That's four of you, anyone else?" Thorin looked around and saw Oin's hand as well as Balin's and Dori's in the air, "Well then. We need to do something about it then, that's over half of us."

Suddenly Nori was by his feet, having been pushed there by a growling Dwalin.

"I think it's him." Dwalin snarled.

Nori got up, putting his hand up and saying, "Hey, hey, now let's not be hasty. Have you got any evidence?"

"No, but I know it's you. It always is." Dwalin said, "No one else on this quest would think of stealing."

"Are you going to arrest me and take me back to Ered Luin?" Nori taunted, knowing that Thorin couldn't do that.

"No," Thorin conceded, sighing, "But if there's no evidence then I can't really do anything but ask you to firstly, give people their possessions back, and secondly, request that you don't do it again."

Nori smirked, bowing, "I shall do that."

Behind him Dwalin growled again. Nori knew that the guard didn't believe him, but he couldn't do anything. He laughed as he looked around, spotting his apprentice in the crowd of dwarves. He smiled, and Nori smiled back at him.

* * *

Bombur was protective over his things - that included his family. So when he couldn't find his spoon, he was irritated. Nori had been told just the day before that he had to stop stealing from them. It was just like Nori to ignore Thorin.

"Where is it?!" He demanded, shaking the thief by the shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" Nori said.

"Where. Is. My. Spoon?" Bombur said slowly.

Nori shrugged with difficulty, "I haven't got it."

"You have! Now give it to me!"

"Bombur," Bofur said calmly, coming up behind him, "Maybe he's telling the truth. For once."

"That'll be the day." Bombur muttered uhnder his breath.

He let go off Nori, taking grim satisfaction in the way he fell to the forest floor.

Nori grunted as he pulled himself up and walked off, towards the ponies.

* * *

_Nori was proud of his apprentice. He'd got Bombur's spoon and they both knew how protective he was over things. His apprentice dropped back and slipped the spoon into Nori's pack._

_"Nice work." Nori praised quietly as his apprentice sped up again. Even so, Nori could see the smile on his apprentice's face._

* * *

Gloin was looking forward to when this mad quest ended, so he could see his wife and Gimli again. But he wasn't naive enough to believe that he would get away unscathed. No, he thought it was highly likely that he would end up dead, however he didn't let his family know that. For all they knew he was a firestarter for the Company and that's how he left it. He didn't tell them anything more, partly for their wellbeing and safety - the less they knew the better - and partly if he didn't go back, then they could mourn him normally; without knowing that Gloin himself didn't expect to get back. It was better.

He sat down to light the fire, feeling around in his pack for the fire-lighting kit he always had on him. It was an essential piece of kit after all, if he didn't have his kit, then they couldn't have a fire, which meant that they couldn't cook their dinner. Which was bad, as dwarves liked having dinner. He searched fruitlessly for about ten minutes and sighed when he gave up.

Gloin stood up and went in search of the spare one he knew he had tucked in one of the packs that were on his pony.

Why did Nori have to steal this piece of equipment? He wondered.

* * *

_Nori watched as his apprentice rode up to Gloin and easily slipped his hand into the pack, pulling out the fire-lighting kit. He then returned to Nori and gave him the stolen thing._

_He smirked, "Well done."_

* * *

While they had a spare moment of peace, in other words, Thorin wasn't forcing Fili and his brother to hunt for the fourteen Company members, Fili thought he would practice his aim. He went to a secluded glade that was near enough to hear them shout if something happened, but further enough away to have some peace.

Don't get him wrong - he loved the Company like extra brothers - but sometimes he needed a bit of time by himself. So he was throwing knives at unsuspecting trees in a quick fashion. When Fili reached into his hair to grab the knife he had hid in there and grabbed nothing but his own hair.

Where had it gone?

Fili patted himself down, finding his other hidden knives easily, but he still couldn't find the missing one. He'd thought maybe that he'd put it in the wrong place by mistake, but apparently not.

He yanked three knives out of the bark of the tree in front of him, and went back to camp.

* * *

_"Seriously? Fili?"_

_"Yes, I'm serious," Nori said, pushing him gently, "Now go and do it!"_

_"Fine..." His apprentice muttered as he sidled over to where Fili was sleeping._

_Silently, so as not to wake any of the sleeping dwarves around Fili, he lifted the golden hair and took the knife that was stashed away under there. He quickly went back over to Nori and passed him the knife._

_"Nicely done."_

_Nori's apprentice grinned happily._

* * *

Dwalin's pipe was missing, and it angered him. Hadn't Thorin told Nori to stop stealing already? It appeared that he needed to reinforce the message. He stood up and walked over to Nori, who was laughing and smiling with Fili, Kili, Ori and Bilbo. Dwalin thought that the thief was probably telling them about a time where he'd avoided capture.

"Nori?" He said. He wouldn't have been this nice before the quest, but now they needed every dwarf they had, and that - unfortunately - included Nori.

"Mmhm? Oh hey Dwalin," Nori smirked, "What can I do for you on this fine day?"

Dwalin heard the little group snigger into their hands as they tried to keep straight faces. He thought it was a poor effort.

"Do you know where my pipe is Nori?"

"Pipe? Your pipe? No, no I haven't."

"You have, and I know it, so give it to me." Dwalin growled, scowling down at the thief.

"I haven't got your Mahal forsaken pipe Dwalin!" Nori snapped, "Will you get that in your thick head?! I haven't got it!"

"You have! Give it back!"

"No I haven't," Nori said, "The sooner you understand that, the better."

Dwalin sighed and stalked over to Thorin, who was talking with Oin and Gloin. It was evident that he wasn't going to get anything out of Nori. Pipe or otherwise.

* * *

_Nori watched as his apprentice sneaked up to Dwalin and quietly snagged the pipe out of the other dwarf's pocket. He was stealthy, maybe not up to Nori's standard, but he was good. His apprentice came back to Nori, handing the pipe over. He nodded at Nori before going to the main group of dwarves by the fire._

* * *

Thorin frowned as he looked where they were going on the ponies. Earlier, he'd been looking for his pipe, but it had gone missing. He was fairly certain it wasn't Nori, but then again, no one had reported getting their missing things back, so maybe it was Nori. Or maybe they had got their things back but were keeping quiet about it, though that didn't make any sense.

He scratched his head, trying to work it out. Eventually, Thorin shrugged, figuring as he'd warned him, Nori would give the things back.

* * *

_His apprentice was staring at him in disbelief, "Are you mad?"_

_Nori shrugged, "Possibly. Now go and get it."_

_Nori's apprentice snuck towards Thorin silently, clearly afraid to wake the slumbering dwarves nearby. But, to give his apprentice credit where credit was due, he did manage to get past Dwalin and get the elusive pipe that belonged to the leader of their Company. He came back to Nori, stepping carefully over the guard and scampering over._

_"Nicely done." Nori said, pocketing the stolen pipe._

* * *

"Ori, Bilbo, Bifur, Balin, Dori, Bofur, Oin," Fili muttered quietly to himself, trying to work out who was the thief, "Bombur, Gloin, me, Dwalin and Thorin."

He was sat by the fire Gloin had lit using his spare fire-lighting kit, silently observing the Company as they got ready for dinner. Bofur and Bombur were preparing the food, whilst Bifur was attempting to stop Bombur from eating all the food. His brother, Bilbo and Ori were with Nori, who was telling them a story. Dwalin and Dori were frowning at Nori from across the fire, but unable to do anything to stop the middle Ri brother. Fili smiled at that and then turned his attention to the rest of the Company. His Uncle was brooding - as usual - and Oin, Balin and Gloin were discussing something important.

He thought logically, that was his strong point, while Kili tended to rush into things without thinking them through. Nori was obviously the biggest suspect, but at the same time Kili was the only one who hadn't got anything stolen. So either Nori was biding his time, or the highly unlikely option of Kili was helping Nori. But there was an easy way to solve this - go through Kili's and Nori's packs to see if anything that had been stolen was in one of the packs.

Quietly, unnoticed by the Company, Fili snuck to where the packs had been put into a pile so they could sort them out later, after dinner. Earlier, he'd seen Nori put his down next to Bombur's and the cook's was easy to spot as it was bulging at the seams. Fili knelt down and opened Nori's pack, tilting it so the some of the contents fell on the ground.

A pipe fell out, followed by a quill and a few other things.

"Ori's quill." He whispered, conscious of everyone laughing by the fire not far away. He wondered what else was in there.

He recognised Thorin's and Dwalin's pipes, Bombur's spoon, his own throwing knife, Dori's hair clasp, Bifur's toy and what must be Gloin's fire-lighting kit. There were three other pipes in the pile of mismatched things. Fili snatched them all up, taking care not to catch himself on his kinfe, and marched over to the rest of the Company. Everyone looked from what they were doing.

Thrusting them into Nori's hands, he said, "I found these."

"By 'found', you mean you went through my pack. In which case, yes, yes you did." Nori said, fondling Fili's knife, flipping it between his fingers easily.

"So you were the thief after all!" Dwalin shouted, jumping up from his position.

At that accusation, Kili started to laugh loudly. Soon there were tears running down his face as he tried to calm himself down so he could talk.

"Oh Mahal!" He said, "Mahal, that reaction!" And he was laughing again.

Fili looked at his brother in utter confusion, hearing the other dwarves around him talk in bewilderment. He glanced at Nori, who had a smug look on his face. He frowned. There was something he was missing.

"Kili!" Thorin said, also looking at his sister-son in confusion, "KILI!"

His brother looked up, tears of laughter in his brown eyes, "Yes?"

"Why are you laughing?" Their Uncle asked.

"Because, you nitwits, he is the thief!" Nori said, chuckling quietly to himself.

The Company was stunned in complete silence. After a few minutes of this silence, Ori spoke quietly,

"Can I... Can I have my quill back please?"

"Sure you can." Nori threw the quill back to its owner, it fluttered down on to the ground. Dwalin picked it up and gave it to Ori.

After that, the belongings were returned to their respective owners. Fili tucked his knife back into his hair, happy to have it back. It just hadn't felt right not to have it there.

"Kili," Thorin said seriously, "Why did you do this?"

"Because I was bored and had nothing else to do," Kili explained to the shocked dwarves, "Also because it was kinda fun, seeing everyone reactions to having something stolen. I've got to say Bombur's was my favourite."

"Right, you are getting punished for this," Thorin said firmly, "You will look after the ponies, along with Fili."

"What?! I didn't do anything!" Fili protested, annoyed. He was innocent! He was the one who found the stuff as well! Unfair!

"I know that, but the responsibility will be good for you."

Fili sighed, once Uncle had said something there was no getting out of it, no matter how much he tried. Mahal knows he tried when he and Kili were younger. It hadn't worked then, it wouldn't work now.

* * *

"Kee?"

"Yes Fili?" Kili said, looking at his brother. They were in the glade with the ponies, the sun was setting above them.

"Didn't we have sixteen ponies?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because we've only got fourteen now," Kili said, double-checking, "Daisy and Bungo are missing!"

"Oh Mahal!"

**Author's Note:**

> This was great fun to write!
> 
> Please leave kudos and reviews! They mean the world to me! :D


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